Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Earning a peace prize

What to do with Emmy winning, Oscar winning, Nobel Prize winning (g)assbag AlGore? Rumor has it he’s up for High School prom king at an east coast all girls’ school. Anyway, what do with this guy who wins a peace prize for making a movie of himself giving an error laden lecture on global warming.

The Griffin asked a good question, shouldn’t AlGore’s Nobel category have been in science? No, because the science doesn’t support the movie. See, except for in public schools, science is one of those funny subjects, like math, where there are rarely two, totally different but equally correct answers. So AlGore’s tribute to himself can’t be science. Were the prize based on the book rather than the movie, it could have been in literature. But really, name one Nobel prize winner in literature since John Steinbeck in 1962 - yeah I had to look it up.

So, poor pathetic AlGore couldn’t win in science because there is very little settled science in his Power Point presentation. He couldn’t win in literature because his book isn’t good enough, even by the modern day Noble committee standards. So he gets lumped in with peace prize winners like Yaser Arafat, Jimmy Carter, Kofi Annan et al. He received this honor in spite of the fact that his efforts to spread fear about climate change in no way met even one of the Nobel committee’s criteria for awarding the prize to wit:

"to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between the nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses".

Fraternity between nations? Nope. If anything AlGore’s scare mongering has led to deeper rifts between developed and developing nations.

Reduction of standing armies? Nope none, nada, zilch, zero. Not even one soldier has laid down his rifle as a result of AlGore’s lunatic theories on global warming.

Holding of peace congresses? Nope. AlGore never did that or even tried to do that.

So AlGore’s Nobel medal, like his movie, is a fraud.

Which brings us back to the original question, what to do with AlGore? Well, were I president, I’d make him my Middle East envoy. I’d have him into my office and say, “Look AlGore you got a peace medal for essentially doing nothing. Now it’s time to earn your ill gotten gains. You’re going to the Middle East and you’re staying there until you reach a suitable agreement between Israel and the Arabs.”

It’s a win win for the president. If there’s peace, it happens on his watch. If it fails, it’s AlGore’s fault but at least the president tried. He sent a Nobel Peace Prize Laureate in as his envoy. Who could be better qualified? And then there’s the whole bi-partisan thing he would get credit for. Send AlGore to the Middle East and make him earn his peace prize.

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