Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Ray the shark Lewis talks football crime

All-everything pro linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens (Ptuha, go to hell Art Model) Ray Lewis warned of crime in the streets if NFL owners didn’t come to their senses and allow NFL players the right of return and locker room boundaries consistent with the 1967 season.

Hmm the Lexster might be conflating two issues here. Anyhoo, owners ought to listen to Lewis, who like a Palestinian thug, knows something about crime and murder. Lewis, you may recall, was arrested in 2000 in connection with deaths of two Atlanta men after an all night Super Bowl party.

So, yeah, Lewis knows what he’s talking about when it comes to crime – murder and now extortion. It’s like a wise guy showing up at small shop in the neighborhood. “Yeah, dis here's a really nice place yoos gots. We’d hate to see any ting bad happen here what wit dis faulty wiring and all. I tink maybe yoos might consider adding a bit of extra insurance from da boss here. Watta yoos tink?”

It’d be like Hamas threatening to shoot a couple of rockets into Israel if the Israelis didn’t come back to the negotiating table. No wait. Everyone knows that won’t work. So Raybo Lewis, whose intellect must be so narrowly focused as to exclude everything except football and destroying evidence in a murder, warns of violent crime if the season is cancelled, because, as Ray Bugsy Lewis puts it, “Too many people live through us. People live through us. Walk in the streets the way I walk in the streets.”

And how is it you “walk the in streets” Ray? Running from the cops investigating a double murder like a roach scurries under the refrigerator when the kitchen light is switched on in the middle of the night. Walking like a man stripping to his skivvies in the back of a limo and stuffing his $800 blood stained suit into a dumpster somewhere destroying evidence from that double murder, is that how they walk Ray?

To this point, I really couldn’t have cared less if played or not. OK, yeah, I’m hoping they play and that the Bengals win it all. Hope springs eternal.  But I certainly wasn’t thinking, “OK, if the season’s cancelled, that’d be the perfect time to start knocking over liquor stores on the south side.” There’s about as much chance of me knocking over a liquor store on the south side as there is with the Bengals winning it all. Zero.

So I wonder. Who is it Lewis is talking about? He couldn’t be an insensitive racist talking about disadvantaged minority kids from poor neighborhoods could he? After all wouldn’t they be the last ones to turn to crime?

I think the owners ought to call Lewis’ bluff. No negotiating with extortionists. Cancel the first 6 games of the season as a coming out point. Let’s just see exactly who it is who will be taking to the streets. It will allow us the opportunity to start rounding up this under class who believes no football on Sunday is justification to go on a crime spree.

Even Lewis knows that crime sprees should be reserved for when things go bad at a Super Bowl party.

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