Thursday, May 19, 2011

US near doom

How do I know that we’re teetering on the brink of collapse?

Case one: Stanley Thornton is a 350 pound 30 something year old who is collecting Social Security and disability benefits because he wants to live like a baby. Yeah, sure, your tax dollars have no better use than to support this giant waste of flesh who claims he’ll kill himself if his government handouts are stopped. I have a couple of bits of advice for Stan, an accomplished wood worker, build your coffin first.  Once that's done, inspected  and weight tested, sell tickets you gross ungrateful slob.

Case two: Health care professionals apparently have nothing better to do than rag on Ronald McDonald. I guess they have finally gotten to the bottom of this AIDS thing and have found a cure for cancer, because now the “professionals” are rolling in our red haired fellow in the yellow jump suit wearing size 37 red shoes.

Apparently these “professionals” are of the opinion that the Mickey Dees clown is running around stuffing unwanted McDoubles and fries down unsuspecting kids’ throats. I don’t think so. Not even the 30 year old fat @$$ lazy douche “kid” in the bit above.

These are not “professional healthcare people.” They are professional busy bodies. And they are stupid ones at that. If they had any clue about kids today, they would be begging Mickey Dees to keep the 1970s clown around so as discourage today’s hipsters from associating with such a lame icon.

Hey sure, the Ronald is a huge draw for the baggy pant wearing, cap turned sideways, undies hanging out, gold tooth, ipod listening, cell phone using crowd. These dopes ought to demand that every McDonalds store in the world have a live Ronald McDonald on scene at all times the store is open for business and one outside as well to deter drive through patrons. Idiots.

Eaten in moderation, Mickey Dees makes you no fatter than any other food that tastes good, is reasonably priced and can be had quickly at drive through on the road when you’re trying to beat your all-time speed record on a 600 mile road trip.

Tip to the busy bodies: The clown has nothing to with it. It’s cheap. It’s quick. And the kids like it. The PARENTS have more to do with it than the clown.

The unintended consequence of the busy body brigade is going to be that Mickey Dees will comply and ditch the lame clown. Being much smarter than the busy body class, the marketing gurus, who built the golden arches into a recognizable symbol world wide, will find an even more attractive mascot. They will develop one that is more relevant to today’s youth and their PARENTS. As a result, the busy body class will have had their idiocy shoved right down their scrawny throats while the McDonald’s folks ask them, “Would you like fries with that?”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The Ronald McDonald House here in Columbus has some interesting stats. It is located at Childrens Hospital and houses thousands of families every year. Many of the families are scarce on resources. My family donates volunteer time to it every year. The water garden there was built and donated by the Griffin family. Very worthwhile org. The anti-Ronald crowd needs to leave it alone. It works well. Mickey's supports it financially through it's profits.

The Griffin.