Thursday, September 29, 2011

The political acid test

We’ve heard the Tea Party being maligned since they first showed up at a town hall meeting and asked a pol a difficult question. Racist, homophobic, Earth Hating, knuckle dragging morons were the nice terms. Well now there is proof positive that on top of all that the Tea Party is full of STUPID, racists, homophobic, Earth Hating, knuckle dragging morons.

Take that cracker state of FL, they voted for Herman Cain in overwhelming numbers Saturday last. Cain beat his nearest competitor in the delegate count by nearly two to one. If that weren’t crazy enough, a Fox News poll shows Cain has now moved into a statistical dead heat with Perry and Romney at the top of the GOP field.

Apparently, those racist, homophobic, Earth Hating, knuckle dragging Tea Party morons haven’t seen a picture of Cain. He’s black! In fact he’s much, much, blacker than the P-BO! In fact he’s so black, it’s doubtful numbskulls like Slow Joe Biden and Scrawny Harry this war is lost Reid could lay their “clean and articulate” or “capable of dropping the negro dialect” lines on this guy.

So, what is the Tea Party doing supporting a black guy? “Stupid racists” is the only answer. They haven’t figured out yet that Herman is black.

I’m going to introduce a new metric for deciding the Republican presidential nominee. Enough with all of the issues stuff. We pretty much know that anyone in the field would be a 10,000 fold improvement over the P-BO. Yes, that includes Paul and Huntsman.

ASIDE: I saw a bit of Huntsman on Greta last night and for the first time actually thought the guy made good sense, particularly on foreign policy.

So the heck with the issues, besides what I’ve see and read of the debates so far, Herman Cain won everyone of them. It’s on to the real acid test for any political candidate. It’s called the Lex BBQ test. Of the candidates available, who would Lex most like to have over to his home for a BBQ?

Hands down, Herman Cain. Why? Well who the hell would want a politician crashing their BBQ. They’d be shaking hands and asking "how are you doing", but moving on to the next hand before you can answer the question. I believe, Herman would sit down and actually enjoy himself. He just seems like a good guy capable of connecting with real people. That’s probably because he’s one himself. I’ve liked Herman Cain since the first time I saw him on the Neal Cavuto show. A guy that actually answered questions and admitted when he wasn’t sure about something.

Romney would be a good guy to have a private lunch with at a snooty restaurant. Newt would be a good guy to bring into the book club. Perry’s probably a good tailgater. But Cain is the guy I’d like to have sitting at my picnic table. Having beaten the widow maker, cancer, he doesn’t seem to fret over much of anything. I can see him dripping a bit of mustard onto his trousers and laughing about it as he took the next bite. Some of the others would bring the whole thing to a halt while an aide took a dry cleaning stick to the spot.

The last thing on Cain is a policy thing. He’s popular because of his 9-9-9 plan that even the simplest among us can understand. Cain can explain his whole plan in 15 seconds – 9% flat income tax; 9% corporate tax no loopholes; 9% consumption (sales tax) tax. By contrast, Romney’s economic plan is over 150 pages long. I suppose Mitt could simplify the message by calling it his "150 plus plan." Romney starts to explain his plan by saying, “There are seven things that we need to do…” That reminds me of the Rodney Dangerfield movie Back to School. During the oral exam, the antagonist professor says, “I only have one question (Dangerfield’s breaths a sigh of relief) with 57 parts (Dangerfield is crestfallen).” So by the time Mitt gets to the fourth point you can hear the audience zzzzzzzzz, and they can’t remember any of it.

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