Monday, June 27, 2011

Bumper sticker logic

There are a bunch of disturbing things in the news today. TSA makes an elderly woman remove her adult diaper. US soccer team gets booed in LA. Flash mobs ransack stores. The P-BO in search of his brain. But what’s got me chuckling this morning was a bumper sticker I saw yesterday on a Volvo with Maine license plates.

Well actually two bumper stickers on the same car, one read: “Terrorism is a symptom. It’s not the disease.” OK, I’ll bite. What’s the disease? American occupation of Afghanistan? Clearly, if terrorism is a symptom, the disease is radical Islam, no?

After all, who is it that is trapped in 12th century? Who is it that blows things up? Who is it that will not tolerate modernity, women, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, gays, atheists, the rule of law, Israel and free thought? Who is it? Radical Islamo-Terror-Fascists, that’s who.

The disease was easy to identify. It didn’t take a two hour episode of House to get to the bottom of it. It didn’t require 50 tests. It didn’t even require House’s famous white board and dry erase markers. If terrorism is a symptom, the patient likely has a bad case of Islamo-Terror-Fascism. Start him on heavy doses of special operations raids and drone strikes. That will ease the symptoms.

But to cure the disease, we will need to cure the patient’s addiction to foreign oil. That means pursuing a broad spectrum of domestic energy sources at home. But alas, the Demo-Dope party has issued a do not resuscitate order on the patient that reads - No drilling, no nukes, no coal. But Dr. Demo-Dope will allow wind and solar to treat the patient.

It’s as if you show up to the hospital with an appendicitis attack. The Republican Dr. wants to operate and remove it before it bursts and infects the entire body. The Demo-Dope Witch Dr. wants to treat the patient by burning some camphor leaves and dancing in small circles around the bed while Tiny Tim plays the ukulele and sings Winchester Cathedral.

Yes, indeed. I did get all of this from one bumper sticker.

But then I thought, if terrorism isn’t the disease, only a symptom, why not just put the disease on the stupid bumper sticker and be done with it? I’ve got it - Islamo-Terror-Fascism: a disease plaguing the world since the year 622.

The other bumper sticker read: The most dangerous element in the world is ignorance.

Ha! I thought, how ironic.

No comments: