Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Homer P-BO show returns tonight at 8

WARNING:  Over the top P-BO/Moochelle bashing follows. 

Reruns of the Simpson’s will be preempted at 8 pm tonight so that Homer, uh, no the P-BO can take to airwaves and entertain us with his zany, self absorbed and just plain stupid view of the world in Homeresque fashion.

I know which of the two is funnier, Homer by mile. And now I know that it’s not just Homer’s stupidity that makes him funny, because I think the P-BO is quite a bit dumber, but he’s actually scary.

I guess Homer’s harmless because he’s yellow, wears the same clothes everyday and aside from blowing up the fake cartoon town of Springfield in a nuclear accident has no real power over anyone.

The Homeresque P-BO, while every bit as narcissistic and clueless as the yellow Homer, has real power to destroy real things. So if just acting dumb were the key to comedy, Dumb and Dumber, Jerry Lewis, every Will Ferrell movie, Clark Griswold, etc. the P-BO would be smash hit. There has to be something else. And that something else is the fact that none of those dopes can actually kill us, destroy our livelihood, have us arrested for no reason, let criminals walk, blow us up, make our healthcare contingent upon a campaign contribution or sent off to some unauthorized war. The P-BO can and has done many of those things to millions of US citizens.

If Homer had done what the P-BO has done to America in the last two years, he’d be sitting with Marge complaining, “D’ho, why does everything bad have to happen to me?” Marge would then help the good hearted Homer straighten everything out by the end of the half hour show.

Sadly, the P-BO’s “Marge” is also a self centered, know nothing, do nothing, be nothing, affirmative action pass through. There’s no steadying influence in the P-BO’s life to counter his self centeredness and stupidity. It’s all about the P-BO all the time.

So tonight Homer P-BO will take to airwaves and make an announcement on Afghanistan. It’ll be 20 minutes longer than it needs to be. He’ll talk about himself more than the nation or the troops who protect it and the gist of the message will go like this:

“Ahhh, we surged in Afghanistan, just like that idiot Sarah Palin said we should and the other idiot George Bush did in Iraq. We have made significant gains, due to my courageous and gutsy call of sending reinforcements in.

“Now, I'm moving the ball. I'm nearly in field goal range, and it’s third and two. Ahh, I’ve decided to punt on third down.

“With so many Americans having risked so much for so long, it’s better to get out of Afghanistan now to shore up the left wing of my base ahead of the 2012 election. That’s where my cash flow will come from, and I need to raise some dough now. This move will be good for several million dollars over the next couple of weeks.

“Ahh, I gotta run now. I’M meeting Homer and Barney over at Moe’s. Moochelle, have you seen the car keys? D’ho, why does everything bad have to happen to me?”

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