Monday, June 20, 2011

Like Muslims, the P-BO wants a return to 12th century

A day or so ago the P-BO blamed automation in general and all of the ATMs in particural for running the economy into the ground. He’s such a brilliant man. Really, do we deserve him?

I was sitting in the shade having a lemonade yesterday watching the Mrs. Tackled the 2 ½ acre front lawn with the 22” self propelled gas mower I bought her for Mother’s Day. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The P-BO is right. All of this automation is costing us jobs.

Follow me on this one. Had I not gotten her the self propelled mower, there is no way she’d have been done in time to wash my truck. That being the case, I’d have to have driven it down to the car wash. Mike’s car wash is totally automatic. For measly $5 your car goes in one end a filthy mess and one minute later emerges at the other with a showroom shine. If, Mike’s had to hire labor to the job it would have cost $75 and taken half a day.

If we take this a step further and go all the way back to the days when 17” push mowers with those cool rotary blades were all the rage, the Mrs. would have been tide up all day with the front lawn. That would mean in addition to no car wash, there'd be no oil change, no laundry, no dinner, no clean windows, no painting the living room, no re-plumbing of the leaky kitchen sink and no one to check jr.’s homework. All of those jobs would have to be hired out. I’d become a one man P-BO economic stimulus program. I avoided that because I invested in a 22” self propelled mower.

I talked it over with the Mrs., and she agreed that we had been selfish and unpatriotic by buying that mower. To make up for lost time, she insists on cutting our grass with hand sickle for the rest of the summer.

Then I think of the greedy bastards who had a backhoe in here last week. In one day, one guy did the work it would have taken a platoon of men a week to do with shovels. This has to stop or the next thing you know we’ll have become so automated in our daily lives none of us will have a job.

The P-BO is right about all of this automation, but he didn’t go far enough. I blame automation for fat kids and destroying the American family as well. Remember when only the rich guy with the house on a hill had a remote for the TV? Kids were the remote. Everyone gathered around the family’s one tv. Dad would command jr., “Hey son, get up and flip the channels and see what else is on.” Now a days, dad doesn’t need to watch tv with jr., because he can flip through his own channels from the prone position on the couch. Jr. doesn’t have to get up, because he’s not even in the room any more. He’s flipping through his own channels while laying in bed, where he’s been for two days getting fatter by the minute.

This wrecking of our economy and culture by progress has to stop. Now. If we’d stopped it back in the 12th century, today we’d be like the Muslims, ten centuries behind the rest of the world and working half days to catch up or trying to bomb the rest of the world back to the 12th century.

No comments: