Thursday, June 08, 2017

The man with zero credibility testifies before congress

Saddam Hussein's  Information Minister has more credibility that Jimmy the shape shifter Comey.
Jimmy the shape shifter Comey is going to be doing his thing in front of congress today.  A few things are certain.  1) During his testimony, Jimmy the shape shifter will be changing shapes faster and more often than the ice cubes in Jimmy Buffet’s margarita machine set on high.  2) Everyone will, at the same time, feel vindicated and disappointed by the shape shifter’s testimony.  3) PMSNBC will twist whatever the shifter says into impeachable offenses.

Dopes are sure to try to get the shifter to admit PDJT tried to influence him to end the Russia investigation.  The shifter will respond with something along the lines:  As the last honest man in Caligula, D.C. I can assure that nothing PDJT said to me influenced me in the least.  That said, had the FBI Director been anyone but me, they surely would not have been able to withstand the pressure PDJT was applying to end the investigation.  The nation is truly lucky that I, the most pure man in all of Caligula, D.C. and perhaps the entire country, was at the helm of the FBI at the time.

Republicans are likely to ask about Billbo Billyboy Clinton’s meeting with Lo Lynch on the airport tarmac.  The shifter will refuse to answer on the grounds that the information is classified.  Republicans will point out that Lo and Billyboy have told the American people that all they talked about was golf and their grandchildren.  Is that true?  The shifter will refuse to answer because, depending on where and with whom you’re golfing, it could be classified.  What about grandchildren then?  Lo doesn’t even have any grandchildren.  The shifter will say:  Well if Lo had an illicit affair with Vladimir Putin in the 90s that resulted in child that was held in the Russian’s custody until she was old enough to join the Russian circus as a juggling mime who gets shot out of a cannon and lands on the high wire with a dancing bear on her shoulders and she married the guy who trains the dancing bear and that union produced a child who was born with 7 toes on her right foot named Sasha, who attends a private school on 3rd and Molotov in St, Petersburg that too would be true and might be classified.  So no, grandchildren are off limits.

Let’s face it, Comey is a BS witness.  I’d have more faith in something Saddam Hussein’s former Information Minister, Mohammad Saeed al-Sahhaf, had to say than anything coming out of Comey’s sewer slit.  I’d have more faith in Billyboy Billbo Clinton coming clean on his serial sexual assaults than Comey coming clean about anything of import.  If you’re in trouble, Bart Simpson would be a better character witness than the shape shifter.  No doubt the shifter will show up with Saul Goodman (of better Call Saul fame) as his personal lawyer.

After his testimony, the shifter will write a book, make several millions of dollars, buy an island and live out his days trying to overthrow the US government to bring honest, enlightened, benevolent dictatorial control to the people of the United States. 

Ice Cube is alarmed at police presence, Sadiq al Haznobrain be damned
In the post under Lex proposes that Black Thugs Matter release a statement condemning police presence to Londonistan mayor, Sadiq bin Adouche.  Well today we have this rap song from America’s rapper laureate – f*ck the police.  So yeah, it’s okay “to be alarmed” about police presence, at least if you happen to be a Black Thugs Matter dope. 

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