Friday, October 09, 2015

Elect a Gunnery Sergeant Speaker of the House

The fact that Caligula, D.C. is in hysterics because some guy decided that he didn’t want to be the next Speaker of the House is an indication of just how FUBARed the Caligula, D.C. establishment has become.  During its improbable national championship run in college football last year, The OSU started out by losing its 1st string QB, Braxton Miller.  Coach Meyer called, “Next man up,” and TJ Barrett took the helm until injured in the game against the team up north.  Coach Meyer called, “Next man up,” and Cardale Jones stepped into win the last three games - including the championship - in impressive fashion.

Crybaby (g)assbag John Boehner decided that an adult life time of undetected crime in the House of Representatives was enough - besides no one wanted him in the job anymore.  So it became obvious that it was time for him to stop looting the treasury and move on to where the real money was – a K St. lobbing job.  The “next man up” in the house was Kevin McCarthy. 

Everything was going along swimmingly.  Sure the Republi-Rat king of the house was dead so to speak, but his handpicked successor was waiting in the wings ensuring that the go along to get along, drive the country over the cliff at a respectable speed while handing The Empty Suit and the Dopes everything they wanted without so much as a whimper policies would continue.

Then it happened.  The prince abdicated, and Caligula went into a tizzy.  Why?  Who cares if McCarty wants to be speaker or not?  Well the establishment ruling class azz weasels care.  The last thing they would want is someone who says, “We’ll send bills up one at a time on no more than three type written pages.  Anyone who leaves the house substantially richer than when he came, will be investigated.  All laws passed by the house will apply to house members and their staffs.”   

NOTE: If you wanted to see a mass exodus from Caligula, make those three simple and common sense reforms and watch the retirements begin and the Rats and Dopes run for higher ground.

OK McCarty’s out, so what?  Next man up, right?  No.  The next man isn’t just “the next man.”  It’s the next acceptable man to establishment Rat Republicans and their donors.  So when McCarty bowed out of the election, the election was cancelled even though there were two other candidates vying for the job.  That’s weird.  Why cancel the election because one guy quits?  Well, that guy happened to be the Rat Republican guy.  You can bet if one of the other two had bailed, the election would have been held on schedule.  It’s only when the Rat Republican guy bails that things become chaotic.

What Boehner did would be akin to Urban Meyer forfeiting a game after Miller went down.  “COACH! COACH! We have other QBs.”  “Sorry, guys.  Those QBs are not in keeping the team establishment rules.  Until we can find a left handed Asian Jew under 5 feet tall to play QB, we’ll have to postpone the season.”   What Boehner is doing is not worrying about the efficient functioning of the house, he could not care less about that and it could not have been more dysfunctional under his own watch.  What Boehner is worried about is maintaining power in the hands of the Caligula, D.C. ruling class azz wagons.  Until Boehner can find someone willing to maintain the status quo, elections will be cancelled.

Since anyone elected by a majority of the house can act as speaker – who knew that - I propose a military man.  A good Marine Corps gunny would be perfect.  Although the front lawn of the Capitol Building would look like hell.  One of the gunny’s favorite pass times is meting out pointless physical labor for those who do not tow his line enthusiastically enough.  Digging a hole is the most common of those activities assigned by the gunny to a recalcitrant Marine who is in need of an attitude adjustment.  The order to dig a hole is often followed by the rejoinder, “And don’t stop until you find a Chinaman.” 

At one point, “pointless physical labor” was frowned upon as…ah, let’s call it motivation.  Punishment is an ugly word and generally reserved for officers under the UCMJ.  So instead of just digging holes, the gunny would require the offending Marine to dig a “fighting hole” or if someone was really on the gunny’s bad side an air raid shelter.  This resulted in the same motivating activity for the offending Marine, but with a genuine military purpose to it.  In the USMC, officer were like the congress passing stupid laws to “soak the rich.”  Gunnys were like the savvy rich guys getting around every one of the stupid laws. 

Anyway, I nominate Gunnery Sergeant Herman (AKA the Hermanator) as Speaker of the House of Representatives.    None of the Caligula, D.C. girly men (a group of the whole) would dare cross him.

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