Ryan and the Beast

Speaker Ryan?  Ah, no thanks
Paul Ryan says he’s willing to run for Speaker of the House of Representatives if all the Republicans fall in line with his every whim.  Hmm I always thought a leadership position required…um, leadership.  Ryan apparently is requiring followership as a prerequisite to taking the leadership job, thereby reliving him of any responsibility to lead.  If that isn’t enough to get you thinking maybe Ryan isn’t the right guy, Harry the roach Reid and LOOOOEEEEEZ Goooteeairhead are both ready to concatenate Ryan king of the House.  OK that’s enough.  F**K Ryan.  He’s out in my book.

The Shrilldabeast to testify
They will be making special preparations in a House hearing room today to accommodate the arrival of the Shrilldabeast for tomorrow’s Benghazi hearing.  Now looking like Jabba the Hutt in a pantsuit, the Shrilldabeast will be no less difficult to deal with than the gigantic slug like alien lifeform made famous in Star Wars.

For their part Republi-Rats will dutifully play their part of sycophantic frightened losers trying to curry favor with Shrillda the Hutt less they be eaten alive in one bite by Beast.  If the Republicans were smart they’d turn the entire hearing over to Trey Gowdy.  Gowdy is the Republican Luke Skywalker in this scenario. 

But saying, “If the Republicans were smart…” is like saying “If lions were vegetarians, they’d make great pets.”   It is totally against a lion’s instincts and body chemistry to dine on arugula.  It won’t.  It can’t.  The same is true of the Republi-Rats.  Asking them to be smart is so counter to every cell of their being that it cannot be done. 

So the line of pandering Rat pols will use 3 minutes of their five minutes of questioning to tell the world how much they respect and admire Shrillda the Hutt then ask how she’s holding up.  The Beast will take 20 minutes telling the Rat Rep what a low-life POS he is and then the Rat rep will thank the Beast for being so forthcoming. 

If the Rat reps would just cede their time to Gowdy, he could make the Shrilldabeast squirm like the Hutt trying escape Princess Lea’s choke hold that finished him off at the sand pit.